Empty Food Bowl
Mew York Times Review
Tabbytha Whiskers
Apurril 34th, 2021
"Well folks, Fuzzy "The Lone Rangepurr" Williams has struck gold again with his hit new album Empty Food Bowl .
If this album sounds deeply personal, it's because it is. In a traumatizing series of events, Fuzzy
recalls waking up from a particularly purrfect nap, assuming it was going to be just another normal day of getting what he
wanted. Things took a turn for the worst, he recalls, when he strolled into the kitchen and couldn't smell
the familiar, sweet smell of dried mystery meat pebbles.
'I reckoned I had a cold' he sighed, clearly still distraught from the incident. 'But as I got closer to my bowl, I noticed
a light bouncing off it. It didn't hit me until I moseyed right up to it that it was light bouncing off the bottom of the bowl.'
Fuzzy took a long pause; he looked ready to chuck a furball. 'Never in my life did I think this would ever happen.'
Fuzzy's overlord, a nincompoop and wreckless villain who goes by the name Geraldine Flowers, was usually always on time
to feed Fuzzy despite being, as he reports, older than sin itself. 'I wish it stopped there,' he hissed. His water was also
only 3/4ths full and the cat litter had one whole poop clump in it still. 'My world was just...ending, and I didn't know
which way was up at one point.'
Eventually Geraldine filled it, but it took several cat hours of intense laser chasing and pillow kneading for Fuzzy to
recooperate from the whirlwind he was put through. 'I even thought about turning to catnip. When I woke up the next cat
day, I decided enough was enough and my story needed to be told.'
The album's biggest hits, Don't Meow Over Spilt Water, Empty Cat Bowl (Will I Ever Eat Again?), and
Follow the Red Dot (So Close Yet So Far Away) were Fuzzy's hardest to get through in the recording booth. 'It blew
me away that so many felines reached out and told me how much these songs resonated with them. I didn't expect this album to go
pawlatinum. It's nice to know that I'm not alone in all this, and that most humans are awful tyrants, not just mine.'
Since release, Fuzzy's album has rekindled the Stop the Human Overlords campaign that has in recent cat years lost momentum
ever since Rachel Ray released her newest line of cat treats. If you haven't already, consider signing the petition and donating
to the cause at ... "
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Stop The Human Overlords Campaign